Transcript of my speech from Michelle's Birthday Memorial Service in February

Over the past few weeks I've tried to sit down and write out what I wanted to say tonight, but every time I tried I would get too upset and just start crying instead. But in between all that crying I would also start laughing at all the funny memories I have of Michelle.

I'm an only child so growing up Michelle & Meredith were like my sisters - so the majority of my childhood memories involve them.

When I think of Michelle, I think of the 500 times we made our parents take us to Blockbuster to rent Michael Jackson's Thriller.

I think of the Christmas where Michelle & Dennis broke the news to me about Santa Claus and then laughed at me for the rest of the day for not believing them.

I think of the time when Michelle, Meredith and I were all crammed into the trunk of a hatchback for the ride down to Myrtle Beach for one of our many family vacations.

But my most vivid childhood memory of Michelle was the time that she tied my hair to the railing of her staircase and then stood there spraying me with hairspray. I KNOW that I must have done something pretty bad to deserve it - but of course all that I remember now is my punishment.

I have wonderful memories of Michelle from high school and college, and I'll never forget the first time I heard that new southern accent! Michelle was so fantastic and supportive of me throughout my pregnancy and when my daughter was born - she was always there to listen or offer help & advice.

I have a lifetime of wonderful memories of Michelle and I still just can't believe that we won't be able to make any new ones.

I still have her phone number saved in my cell phone and her email address in my address book - and I don't think that I'll ever be able to remove them.

Michelle I miss you and I love you.

A Letter from Erica

Dear Michelle -

I've thought about you everyday since you left but I've been thinking about you a lot more the past couple of weeks. Everyday when Matthew asks me to sing Twinkle, Twinkle, I think about you. It almost seems wrong singing it because I can only think of Cassidy's face and how she'll never hear you sing it again. But I think you would want me to sing to Matthew so I do it. Everyday when I put on my pearl earrings I think of you. I lost one yesterday which has never happened before - I wonder if that means something... My friend is having a baby and was asking me breastfeeding questions and I thought of how you helped me when I was having such a difficult time breastfeeding. And I think of you showing me your C-section scar on your mom's deck while we were drinking mimosas. Such random thoughts but I cherish them anyway.

I miss big things like your smile and your style but mostly I just miss the day-to-day little things like asking you financial planning advice and complimenting you on your cute shoes and asking you what you did when Cassidy bit a classmate at daycare or when she wouldn't sleep. I usually don't like taking parenting advice cuz I'd rather just figure it out on my own but you were my only family member that was actually doing it at the same time as me so I always tried your recommendations. You'd always emailed me back the same day and usually multiple times during the day from work which I thought was cute cuz I knew you were so busy. I really wish I'd kept all of our emails - I didn't know you weren't going to be here to email with me...



I'm so happy to finally have this picture of us. I think it was one of the last ones taken and maybe one of the only ones of the two of us with both of our children. We were up until like 4 or 5 in the morning talking and when our kids got up at the crack of dawn, we still got up with them. We were exhausted and this picture definitely shows it but Debra was doing her regular photo session thing and wouldn't let us escape without a picture :) Of course now I'm so happy she took it even though we look like crap...but definitely happy. That morning we were giving Matthew and Cassidy a bath together and Matthew stood up in the tub and you said, "no, no Matthew. You have to sit down in the bath." And before either of us knew it, he leaned over and slid right out of the tub like it was a water slide! The two of us were half scared that he was hurt and half laughing our heads off cuz it was so funny. I think your mom has a video of the whole thing - of course! The night we spent hours talking and the following morning spending time with our kids together is my favorite set of memories with you. I'm so happy I took full advantage of the last time I got to see you. I wish we'd done that years ago but no regrets, just happy memories.

On Saturday we're going to light your candle holder (yes, I finally put it up in the new house!) and Joe and I will tell each other stories about you and Meredith and the rest of our crazy family. We'll show Matthew pictures of you and tell him how wonderful you were and how some day soon he'll get to play with his cousin Cassidy. I know you'd want us to smile and remember the good stuff so that's what we're going to do. We try not to be angry but some days it's hard. We do our best to honor your memory and we are pretty sure that means to keep smiling and keep kissing Matthew and keep enjoying life.

Now you are our Twinkling Little Star and for some reason that's comforting.

Miss you,
Eri

A Letter from Caroline

Dearest Michelle,

I always knew you were my beautiful and talented cousin Michelle, but this past year I became very aware of how many people you touched by the way you lived your life. You've inspired and enriched people's lives with your signature style, your warmth and generosities.

Our family always looked forward to the family reunions when you came up from NC. Everyone wanted you on their team for volleyball or one of those wacky word games we'd play. Those times will be cherished always. I don't think you ever knew the impact you had on Christine and Nikki. They looked up to you and especially admired your capabilities as a wonderful Mother to Cassidy. Your demonstration of patience and love was wonderful to behold.

I pray every day for you and for all of us who are struggling to come to grips with your senseless death. You live on in all our hearts and will always be my sweet beautiful Cousin Michelle.

Love Caroline

A Letter from Aunt Deb

Dear Michelle,

Good morning - here it is 3 a.m. and another sleepless night. I have given up on trying to sleep and got out of bed to write you a note. Today is October 27th a few days away from the anniversary of your death. It is impossible to believe a full year has passed. The pain of your loss hurts as much as if it were yesterday.

I keep remembering our conversation when you found out you were going to have a son. I called you thinking you were going to tell me you were having twins, but you said, "Hey Aunt Deb, I’m going to have my own little hunk of a man." That was your endearing way of teasing me because you heard those words from me all the time to describe my grandson Matthew.

Michelle, I am trying my hardest to comfort your mom. We have been spending a lot of time together. Religion has helped her gain some inner peace. G.G., your mom and I have taken a few trips to visit Joey, Erica and Matthew. I share Matthew with his Great Aunt Linda. I know it is bittersweet for her because she misses Cassidy so much. A few of your friends with their new babies get together with your mom also. She does have a wonderful support group. Last Christmas before your mom came home from Meredith’s, her former Connetquot cheerleaders got the key from her neighbor’s and decorated the most beautiful Christmas tree ever! We walked into her home to find a spectacular tree full of sparkling lights and all new ornaments in red and white. It was wonderful to see the tree all set up. We just stood in front of the tree and cried. She was so thankful for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It was the perfect surprise for your mom. They plan to decorate another one this year too. How I wish you were here also to be a part of the celebration. I know Christmas is your favorite holiday.

Michelle, I think of you constantly. When I walk my dog around the neighborhood, it could be the strangest thing that makes me smile. The autumn leaves were falling and blowing with a warm breeze and I looked up to the sky and felt your presence. While on another walk, I saw balloons on someone's mail box saying, "Congratulations You Did It!" and the tears just filled my eyes thinking of you. I get so angry and don't know how to express my feelings. You graduated high school and college with honors, accomplished so much getting your CPA. For What??? To be snuffed out and it is all over. Your life was taken away from you too soon. You were supposed to outlive your Aunt Deb, your mom and dad, not to mention your grandmother.

Michelle, do they have shoe stores in heaven? Remember you promised to take me shoe shopping with you. I always admired the way your feet looked in shoes not to mention how great and sexy you looked in a simple beach cover up.

I wish I could see your smiling face.

Love you forever with all of my heart,

Aunt Deb

Memories from Shane

What I best remember about Michelle was her beautiful smile, her love of Cassidy and her half Long Island half North Carolina accent. It was a joy knowing her for (a too short) five some years. I will always remember her trips to NY/NJ, driving out of her way to meet a bunch of us for lunch in Elon (with a newborn Cassidy) and dragging me to get pizza with her on Fire Island. The picture attached was from a few summers back in Fire Island. Good times! Michelle will always be missed, but her friends and family will never forget her.
Shane Powers

A Letter from Jenny

Michelle,
From grade school to Brownies, I remember us as little girls. You were always very kind to me. You nicknamed me Oreo in Miss Neimeyer's third grade class! That was long ago but I will never forget it. I was so happy to meet up with you again, via email, ten years after high school. Your advice on mothering was so helpful. I haved saved all of your emails and I absolutely treasure them. I think of you every day and hope that your family has some closure soon.
Your friend,
Jenny "Oreo" Mullins-Intravia

Memories from Kerry

Although many years have gone by and I have not seen Michelle, it still seems like yesterday when we were at her house for pool parties, in softball together and at school.
I will never forget the day (I think it was second grade) we had show and tell. I didn't have anything to show or tell. Michelle got up for a "tell" and said how she was singing a Bruce Springsteen song and afterwards her voice became all scratchy like his for about 5 minutes! I thought it was so funny that I thought I would try the same story, but alter it (you know to fool everyone). So I used Cyndi Lauper instead! Well, needless to say everyone caught on to my "similar" story, and i looked quite silly!!!

Kerry Ogden-Johnson